dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
