And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
