well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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