I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
