Buhtt sex?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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