When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
