just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
