That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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