btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
