There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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