I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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