There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
