i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
