just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
