Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize