Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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