Rock
Scissors
Fuck
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
