ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
