i just had sex bonerless
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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