He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
