Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
