How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
