How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
