Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
that's an acceptable place to lick
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
