put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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