went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
