I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Panties = found
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
