Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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