Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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