just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
