...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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