the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
