What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
