my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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