the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
