oh god the rape fog is back!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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