I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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