we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
