yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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