They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
