Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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