You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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