Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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