Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize