i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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