im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize