Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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