I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
