I accidentally had phone sex last night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Randomize