After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
