five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
