My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you never un-have a 4some
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
