Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so let's talk penis.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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