i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize