this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
