This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
