I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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