and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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