The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
