You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
