READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
bring money and cleavage
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
