Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize