At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize