I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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