you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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