kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
