paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish you could order shots online.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
