They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
