dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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