Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
