Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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