i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
God, I missed his penis.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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