i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
