: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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