This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
