Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
