Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
where are my eyebrows?
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