Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
