I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize